I lose count of the number of times people have said to me: “Robert, you are a successful democratically elected president, but you also appear to have an active love life. How do you do it?”
It’s all about understanding women, I say. And land reform. But mainly women.
“Could you be more specific?” they always ask.
Well, I say, the land was stolen from us by these white Rhodesians and now we must take back what belongs to us.
“We really meant the understanding women part,” they say.
I usually send for the secret police at this point, but their question is valid. Who am I to deprive my people of my knowledge of love and love-making? After all, I am not gay, unlike the gay government of the gay United gay Kingdom.
I shall be publishing with non-gay abandon soon, but if you would like any requests, don’t hesitate to ask.
2 Comments
March 31, 2007 at 11:15 pm
thank goodness someone is standing up for all that is democratic and non-gay in this crazy world of ours. blog on, robert, blog on!
July 6, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Congratulations His Excellency president federal republic of Zimbabwe. Your Excellency I want you to know we are solidly behind your reign and your govermental functions in Zimbabwe; you have brought justice and peace to the people of Zimbabwe. The election has been won by your Excellency and nothing can be done about thats, you the winner His Excellency, may your reign be longer, His Excellency we have vital measures to discuss with you. once again congratulations.
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How kind, how kind. You know, many people said that I was finished after the first round of the election, but they did not count on the groundswell of popular support generated by my energetic campaign team and their persuasive campaign rhetoric: “Robert Mugabe is the only man in Zimbabwe who cannot be beaten.”
I must admit that I have not read any of your self-help books, Dr Aziz, but I certainly believe in helping myself.