Well, thank goodness that’s over for another five years. I sometimes wonder why we bother to have general elections at all. As recent events have shown, I cannot be beaten, whereas Morgan Tsvangirai quite obviously can be (unless he’s in the Dutch Embassy, the slippery eel).
But elections, like the act of love, are matters in which champions must continually prove themselves. My top tip for both is that if things don’t go well the first time, you can make a more concerted effort after a hiatus of your own choosing.
Anyhow, I was delighted to have received the highest of plaudits from the Iranian foreign ministry recently – on the election result rather than my lovemaking, I should add. I have no doubt that Mohammad Ali Hosseini would be impressed by the latter as well, but of course he would have to hang himself, as homosexuality is illegal in Iran as it is here. I am, of course, not gay, unlike many so-called Western leaders, who definitely are.
3 Comments
July 16, 2008 at 8:39 pm
Congratulations your excellency, the “love guru” in that part of the world, your genius is unparalleled seeing how you have turned most of your people into billionaires………. except for one minor problem your Zimbawe billion dollar is worth squat, can’t even buy half a banana…..
July 17, 2008 at 11:50 am
Thank you, sir. I had not realised that there was a demand for half-bananas. I shall have Comrade Mohadi at Home Affairs to look into it. But surely the middle of the banana would go off?
July 18, 2008 at 4:40 am
Your Excellency, I forgot to mention that you should pay Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad a visit in his blog and maybe give him a lesson or two on gay errr “love.”