I am His Excellency Robert Mugabe, President of Zimbabwe and leader of the Zanu-PF party. I already have a homepage, but it is both the slowest page on the entire internet and woefully bereft of tips on the act of love. I have therefore created my Love Tips page to share my knowledge of women. Not men. I am not gay. (How many times?)
If you have any questions you would like me to answer about dating and the art of lovemaking, please post them here and I will do my best to answer them.
Yours, in affection,
Robert
(main banner photograph courtesy of aheavens)
1 Comment
October 23, 2007 at 9:02 pm
Dear Excellency,
The organization I represent, Columbia University, would like to invite you to a forum where you can expound on your revolutionary and innovative economic plans, such that we may more fully appreciate your gifted mind in person.
In addition, it would be of great benefit to certain excessively bookish members of the student body, if you would care to share with us your latest thoughts on what’s needed in attaining the mantle of world’s greatest paramour.
The University is prepared to fund your travel with a disbursement–should you agree to attend this function–of 1 million Zimbabwean dollars, to the slush fund of your choice.
I patiently await your decision, sir.
Lee C. Bollinger
President
Columbia University
Dear Mr Bollinger,
Thank you for your kind invitation. I regret that I must decline on this occasion. For future reference, I do not get out of bed for less than a billion Zimbabwean dollars.
Yours etc
His Excellency President Robert Mugabe KCB