The power of love

Well, thank goodness that’s over for another five years. I sometimes wonder why we bother to have general elections at all. As recent events have shown, I cannot be beaten, whereas Morgan Tsvangirai quite obviously can be (unless he’s in the Dutch Embassy, the slippery eel).
But elections, like the act of love, are matters in [...]

Not for spurning

Billy Zane writes:
Dear Rob (Mr President is fine – RM)
You may have read in the newspapers that something is rotten in the Kentish orchard that is my engagement to Kelly Brook. Without confirming or denying whether I’ve been ditched by the former presenter of so-called Celebrity so-called Love Island, I would nonetheless be grateful for [...]

How am I?

Small talk is no small thing. I won’t go into great detail, but I will say this:
Never go out with a girl who asks how you are twice in succession, viz
His Excellency President Robert Mugabe KCB: Well, hello there.
Girl: Hi. How are you?
His Excellency President Robert Mugabe KCB: Like a million Zimbabwean dollars (£3), baby. [...]

Robert’s tips on dumping

Women think that men find saying “I love you” difficult. We do not. It is easy to say if it is true. Quite apart from the joy of saying it, there are rewards, both instantly and in the medium term. Like currency adjustment or land reform, it only becomes a burden in the long run.
Saying [...]

Hubba hubba

I lose count of the number of times people have said to me: “Robert, you are a successful democratically elected president, but you also appear to have an active love life. How do you do it?”
It’s all about understanding women, I say. And land reform. But mainly women.
“Could you be more specific?” they always ask.
Well, [...]