I lose count of the number of times people have said to me: “Robert, you are a successful democratically elected president, but you also appear to have an active love life. How do you do it?”
It’s all about understanding women, I say. And land reform. But mainly women.
“Could you be more specific?” they always ask.
Well, I say, the land was stolen from us by these white Rhodesians and now we must take back what belongs to us.
“We really meant the understanding women part,” they say.
I usually send for the secret police at this point, but their question is valid. Who am I to deprive my people of my knowledge of love and love-making? After all, I am not gay, unlike the gay government of the gay United gay Kingdom.
I shall be publishing with non-gay abandon soon, but if you would like any requests, don’t hesitate to ask.