Lustrous Finnish

Matti Vanhanen, the Finnish prime minister, writes:

Dear Bob – may I call you Bob? (No. Mr President or Your Excellency would be more appropriate – RM)

There is nothing I like more, after making love, than the taste of an oven-baked potato. Does this make me abnormal?

Yours sincerely,


Well Matti, it sounds to me that you have a type of paraphilia, or sexual fetish, meaning that you attain sexual arousal through contact with a non-sexual object. This is an abomination, and you will burn in Hellfire.

I hope this helps.

Robert Mugabe



Filed under ask Robert

2 responses to “Lustrous Finnish

  1. Dr. Mugabe, I rather hope you might consider reconsidering your position on the issue of the noble potato.

    Without Prejudice
    Lord G

  2. I don’t mind what potatoes get up to, as long as they do it in the privacy of their allotments. I’m afraid I cannot be as open-minded about gays like Tony Blair, however. They should go back to Russia, where they will be beaten up and arrested for the privilege.

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